


I'll Be There

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Eddie Diaz, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Season/Series 03, Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-06 02:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21218954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Buck worries about Eddie when he's late coming home one night. When he finds out where he's been he confronts him and reminds him exactly what he has to lose.





	I'll Be There

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this last week and got it done with a few minutes to spare before the new episode, because I couldn't not post it.

The lights are on when Buck pulls up outside Eddie's house. There's no sign of Eddie's car, only Carla's. 

He could always wait until tomorrow to see him, but he knows they need to talk this out tonight. Eddie had been angry the last time they saw each other. Buck gets it. He knows he's been doing a lot of acting without thinking things through. While he's been hurting he's missed how much other people have been hurting as well. How Eddie has. And Christopher. 

It's that last thought that has Buck getting out of the car and heading towards the door. Eddie might not be here but Christopher is. He owes it to all of them to go inside.

He knocks on the door, and waits a moment, before the door swings open and he’s met with the sight of a grinning Carla. “Buckaroo!”

Buck finds himself pulled him for a tight hug. He laughs and hugs her back. “Hey Carla.”

“Eddie’s not here,” she tells him as she closes the door behind him.

“I figured when I didn’t see his car,” Buck says. He rubs the back of his neck and looks around the house. It looks the same. Of course. It’s only been a week since he’s been here, but it still feels like so much longer. “I was hoping to see Christopher.”

"You have excellent timing,” Carla says. “I was just about to put him to bed."

"I can do it," Buck offers. "If you want to head out."

"Are you sure?"

Buck nods, "Yeah of course. I need to spend some time with the little guy. And I was hoping to talk to Eddie anyway."

"Mmhmm you definitely do," Carla says. She shakes her head. "That boy."

Buck's brow pinches in confusion. Before he gets to question her, Christopher tugs on his arm, getting Buck's attention. 

"What is it buddy?"

"Daddy's been sad," Christopher says. Buck feels his heart break a little at the words. He really has been missing too much. “I made him sad.”

That has Buck kneeling down in front of him, “Chris, even if your dad has been sad it’s not your fault.”

Christopher frowns, “I told him I dreamed about mom. He said it’s okay to be sad.”

“Of course it is,” Buck says. “Especially when you miss someone.”

“He misses you,” Christopher says. “I missed you.”

“I’m here now,” Buck tells him. He takes him in his arms and hugs him close. “I’m sorry I was away so long, but I’m here, okay?”

“Okay.” 

Buck looks up when he feels a hand on his shoulder to find Carla watching them. “Are you sure you don’t need anything?”

Buck shakes his head, “No, we’re good. I’m just going to read him a story and get him to sleep. Sound good, buddy?”

“Yeah,” Christopher says, grinning at him. “I like when you read me stories.”

“Well I love reading you stories,” Buck says. He scoops him up into his arms, grinning with Christopher laughs and hooks his arms around his neck. “Let’s go.”

He tucks Christopher into bed, and grabs one of his favorite books off the nightstand, before settling down into the bed next to him. He reads, looking at Christopher every so often as he goes, watching to see if he’s fallen asleep. Even when he’s sure he has, Buck keeps reading, wanting to be sure. Plus, it’s something to do. A way to keep his mind from spiraling and worrying about where the hell Eddie could be. It’s not like him to be late coming home to Christopher without a good reason.

Buck sits up when he hears the front door opening and closing, followed by the sound of keys being placed in the bowel by the door. It’s familiar sound by now, but Buck can tell something is off from the unsteady sound of Eddie’s footsteps.

He carefully climbs out of Christopher’s bed and puts the book down, making sure he’s still sleeping soundly before leaving the room. The light is on in the bathroom down the hall. Buck heads that way, feeling apprehension and worry building in him. He doesn’t know what could have kept Eddie out so late, but whatever it is can’t have been good.

His worry only grows when he looks into the bathroom and catches sight of Eddie. He hasn’t noticed Buck yet. He’s too busy rummaging around in the cabinet. His shirt his off, discarded on the floor. There’s blood and bruises on his back and sides, and from what Buck can tell his arms.

When Eddie lifts his head, Buck gets a look at his face, seeing it’s the same condition as the rest of him, maybe worse. He can’t help but gasp at the sight or the quiet murmur of Eddie’s name from his lips. Eddie hears him. He meets Buck’s gaze in the mirror. The look in his eyes has Buck wanting to step back. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Eddie look so cold.

“What are you doing here?” Eddie asks him, his voice just as icy as his stare.

“I wanted to talk to you so I came by,” Buck said. “I was with Chris so Carla could go home.”

“She shouldn’t have left you with him,” Eddie mutters, and that stings a lot.

“What happened to you trusting me more than anyone else?” Buck asks.

“That was before you decided some stupid lawsuit was more important than him. Than me.”

“That’s bull,” Buck says, stepping further into the room. “You two are the most important people in my life, Eddie.”

“Sure didn’t seem like it when you weren’t here,” Eddie says.

Buck knows Eddie is just lashing out because he’s angry. He can’t blame him for that. But it still hurts. “I didn’t think, okay? And not because I don’t care about you. I do. So much. But I wasn’t in a good place. It didn’t occur to me that anyone would actually miss me. So I’m sorry. I will do whatever you need me to do to make it right.”

“You could start by leaving,” Eddie mutters.

“Yeah that’s not happening,” Buck says. “Not with you hurt and clearly in no shape to look after yourself, let alone Christopher. So just…” he moves and grabs the first aid kit from the cabinet Eddie had opened, and gestures for the closed toilet seat. “Sit.”

He half expects Eddie to argue, but he doesn’t. He huffs out an annoyed breath before moving to sit down. Buck works in silence. He cleans Eddie’s hands, his chest, his back, before finally moving to his face. Eddie flinches every so often at the sting of the alcohol on his wounds, but he never tells Buck to stop. He doesn’t say much of anything. 

It’s on Buck to break the silence. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” Buck asks, still worried by Eddie’s condition, and what possibly could have hurt him like this. “Did someone attack you?”

“No one that I didn’t want to,” Eddie says, looking towards the ceiling.

Buck frowns. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

Eddie stands suddenly, leaving Buck no option but to do the same. “Can’t you just leave it?”

“No,” Buck says. “I can’t. Not when you come up beaten and bloody like this. So where the hell were you?”

“I was at a street fight, okay? Are you fucking happy now?”

"Street fighting? You've been street fighting? You do realize those are illegal, right?"

Buck's worry shifts to anger. At Eddie for being in the damn street fight. At himself for not being around to stop it. 

It only grows with Eddie's clear lack of remorse. "It doesn't matter," Eddie mutters.

"It doesn't matter? What about Christopher?" Buck hisses. He fights the urge to flinch when Eddie does. It's a low blow. Buck knows that. But it might be the only way to get through to him. "What happens to Christopher if you get arrested? You could lose your job, lose _him. _Or what if he saw you like this, Eddie? Is that really how you want your son to see you?"

Eddie deflates, his legs seeming to give out as he sinks to his knees on the floor. His shoulders start to shake as he sobs quietly. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I wasn't thinking. I was just so angry. At you, at myself, at the damn world."

Buck sits down next to him and hesitantly reaches out, putting a hand on Eddie's shoulder. He half expects him to jerk away. Instead he falls into Buck's arms as he continues to cry. 

Buck pulls him closer, placing a kiss to his head. It’s an instinctive gesture, but it seems to be the right one. Eddie relaxes a bit in his arms. “It’s okay,” Buck tells him. “You’re okay. We’re going to be okay.”

They sit there for a while on the cool bathroom floor, neither on saying anything. Buck continues to sooth Eddie as best as he can, running his hand down his back and through his hair. Eventually his body relaxes in Buck’s arms as his tears start to slow.

"Next time you're angry tell me and we'll just get a piñata for you to beat the shit out of," Buck jokes. "At least then you'll get candy."

That startles a laugh out of Eddie. He lifts his head, his cheeks still streaked with tears. Buck lifts his hand and wipes the tears away with his thumb. The moment is charged suddenly, and Buck feels like he can't breathe under the weight of Eddie's gaze. He doesn't look away. He won't. 

"Thank you," Eddie whispers. 

"For what?"

"For being here."

Buck nods and leans in, resting his forehead against Eddie's. "I've failed you before, I'm not going to again. I'm here. However long you want me here."

"I always want you here," Eddie says. His lips brush softly against Buck's, a feather light touch that has him holding his breath. Then he pulls back, looking apologetic. "There are so many things I want to do and say right now but I think we owe it to ourselves and each other to wait until we're clearer headed."

Buck nods, "Okay."

Buck knows he’s right. He’s been doing too much jumping without thinking lately. Not that he could ever regret being with Eddie. He just wants to do this right. This thing between them is bigger than just the two of them. And right now they’re both too hurt and angry for it to lead any place good.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Buck says. 

He stands up and helps Eddie to his feet. Then down the hall to his room. He’s about to leave Eddie to get changed when a hand on his arm stops him. Buck tries not to frown at the sight of his bruised knuckles. “Will you stay here tonight?”

Buck looks at him, really looks at him. He takes in how vulnerable Eddie looks right now. He hasn’t seen him like this. Not even when Shannon died. He’d always done his best to keep himself together. Buck knows it was mostly for Christopher’s sake, but there’s something else. 

Buck nods, “Sure, Eddie. Get changed, and I’ll be here. As long as you need me. Hell, even when you think you don’t. I’m here, Eddie.”

Buck means it. He’d screwed up. He knows that. Because of that he almost lost two of the most important people in his life. He’s going to do better now. He’s going to be here for Eddie like he has for him so many times before. It might not be easy, and it might take some time for things to go back to any semblance of normal, but Buck knows it’ll be worth it. He’s not going to give up until they get there.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/comments make my day ♥  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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